2 – The Fallen
The wooden staircase creaked beneath my feet as I continued down the long spiral, the air growing colder as I drew closer to the trees’ roots. They were embedded in the walls, pulsing with a life of their own. I could see the glow from my God eye shimmering faintly on the dark and slightly damp wall. I closed it, wishing it to go away, though I knew it would do no good.
I finally reached the bottom, three heavy doors greeting me as I dropped my robes back to the floor. I could make out voices from the center and right doors. The center I recognized as the Holy in charge of the Shrine, Nakuzu. And to the right I heard the loud, confident tones of Rei, the only other male Holy living there at the time.
I took the left door, pushing it open with a nasty shriek of its ancient hinges.
“Where’s Kisa?! Is she okay?! Where is she?!”
I was attacked by a barrage of questions before I’d even set foot in the room. I blinked in confusion for several seconds, before realizing they were coming from the man sitting against the wall, his arms chained together between his legs.
I stared at him questioningly, wondering who Kisa was.
Sensing my confusion, the man sighed. “She’s one of us… The only girl. …Do you know if she’s alright?” His gaze was piercing, beseeching.
It actually hurt me to know I had no answers for him. I shook my head. “I’m sorry, I know nothing of her. But, I doubt she’s been treated any worse than you have.”
He sighed in relief. “Yes… Yes, you’re right.” His head fell back against the wall, eyes closed. “So,” he said, not moving. “You’re the Holy they sent to ‘reform’ me, right? I’m Kou. Nice to meet cha, I guess.”
I nodded. “Anlui. The pleasure’s mine… And, you could put it that way,” I said, sitting atop a barrel that was standing near the prisoner. “But, you could also say I’m your ticket out of here, Kou.”
This time, it was he who looked at me questioningly. “…What do you mean?”
I gazed up at the ceiling. “I honestly don’t give a damn whether you believe in the Gods or not. Just tell me you’ve turned over a new leaf and I’ll let you go free. It doesn’t even need to be the truth, just say it and you’re out of here.” The traitorous side of my thoughts whispered, I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to free yourself a little by freeing him... But I pushed the voice aside. “So, do you want to do that?”
He looked at me more, then laughed. And laughed. And laughed. “Wow! You guys are so far from holy, I’m starting to think the name is an oxymoron! First, you’ve got the violence and abuse we suffered from that Captain of yours and now I’ve got a Holy herself trying to convince me to lie!”
I frowned. I was being taken for a woman again. It really was bothering me. “Are you going to accept the offer or not?” I asked coldly.
He got the rest of his laughter out, then fixed me with a serious coppery-gold stare. “No, I won’t.”
I almost fell off the barrel in confusion. “But… why?” If someone had offered me the chance to walk free from this wretched place with a simple lie… I would have leapt at it without a thought! …what reason could he have to want to stay and be executed?
He smiled. “I have a something called honor. I wouldn’t sink so low as to speak a lie about the very core of my beliefs just to save my own hide. …Though, I doubt you know what I mean, if you suggested such a plan.”
The words were like a slap in the face, but the part that stung was that they were true. I cared nothing for such things as “honor”.
I could feel him watching me, gauging the effect that simple statement had produced. He then spoke again. “There’s another reason too…” He looked at the wall that connected his room to the center one. “It’s just… I don’t see a point in getting out if I’m alone when I do so.”
“…I don’t understand what you mean.” I had always been alone and I usually preferred it. He was very confusing to me.
He laughed weakly, his face flushing. “…I guess I should just say it, eh? …Alright. I wouldn’t and can’t leave without Kisa. …I… I love her.” Those last words were mumbled under his breath, his face a deep red.
…love…
My throat constricted. I didn’t know that emotion. Wasn’t that the emotion that drew two people together? Wasn’t that the emotion that parents felt for their children? …the emotion that held families together…?
My hands were shaking on the barrel’s top.
I couldn’t cry… No one could see me cry…
He seemed to sense that he shouldn’t have said something and tried to change the subject. “So… Do you want to know why I can’t even pretend I believe in the Gods’ existence, Anlui? …I’m sorry if I brought up any bad memories, miss…”
I ignored the ‘miss’ part and nodded for him to tell me, my head still hanging low so my face was hidden.
He spoke in a low, serious voice, telling me of the world’s disasters. Floods, fires, earthquakes, mine collapses… “Even this forest. You haven’t seen the edges of it, have you? It’s slowly dying. As you walk through, you see more and more fallen trees and bare branches… It’s horrible.”
I pictured the view from my window. I hadn’t seen anything like that…
“You wouldn’t see it from this deep in, but it’s definitely true. You should go out and see.”
I didn’t bother explaining that I really couldn’t, and just nodded with a murmured, “I will.”
He gave me a small smile, leaning back against the wall with closed eyes. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Then he looked back at me. “Would you do me a favor?”
I blinked and nodded.
He smiled sadly. “Um… if you could, could you allow me to dictate a letter to you… And ask you to deliver it for me?”
I stared at him, hesitated and nodded. “I’ll get some paper.”

I folded the letter over when I was finished writing and, with a nod to Kou, left the room to find where Kisa was being held.
I assumed that Nakuzu was talking to the leader, so I took the right door. Rei greeted me with a cheery wave of his hand. I had always envied him. He was so content in his fate as a Holy, and loved the prestige. He looked the part too; his long, perfect honey-blond hair and beautifully deep green left eye and a shimmering silver right one. He even managed to make the robes appear less like a dress and more like… well, robes.  
“Hello, Wordless,” he said with a smile. I nodded, feeling inadequate. It took me a moment to see a girl, Kisa obviously, sitting on a crate. Her hands were bound, but she looked a good deal more comfortable than Kou was.
I looked at Rei, then nodded toward the door. I never liked talking around Rei, even more so than normal.
He blinked, then got it. “Ohhh, you want me to leave?”
I nodded.
“Okay, sure. You want me to come back later?”
I nodded again, gripping my hands behind my back. His presence made me anxious.
“Will… 20 minutes be okay?”
I nodded for a third time.
“Okay! I’ll be back. Guess I’ll grab a bite to eat. See you, Miss Kisa, Wordless.” And he was gone.
I sighed in relief.
Kisa was watching me with unsettlingly red eyes. She was making me nervous again. “…I have a letter for you, Kisa,” I said softly, trying to appear as unthreatening as possible. I held it up.
Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Why would a “Holy” have a letter for a heathen like myself?” she asked sharply.
“…It’s from Kou.”
Her eyes widened. “K-kou? He’s okay? How’d he write me a letter?”
“He dictated it to me,” I answered, holding it out.
She held up her bound hands, and I placed the letter into them. Her eyes scanned the page, and I watched them soften and slowly fill with tears. She finished and lowered her hands, two milky tears falling down her cheeks in perfect symmetry. “Kou…” Her eyes met mine and in a thick voice she whispered, “Thank you. You’re not all assholes after all. I’m glad…” She began to cry a little, her shoulders trembling with her repressed sobs. I sensed that she, like me, didn’t want her tears observed.
I turned my back on her and walked to the door. “…would you like me to pass anything on to him…?” I murmured.
Without lifting her head she managed to choke out, “O-only that I wish I could k-kiss him right now and get a h-ha-happily ever after…” She broke down into a fit of sobs, unable to speak anymore.
I nodded. “I’ll tell him that.” I didn’t know what else I could possibly say, and so I left the room; leaving her alone with her sorrow. I leaned against the door, my chest aching. I couldn’t do anything to help them… I couldn’t smuggle them out, and neither of them would lie to save themselves…
The helplessness threatened to strangle me. My eyes stung with hot tears for the second time that day and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
Was this love? This sadness that radiated from both of them? The ache of knowing that if they saw each other again, it would be right before watching one of them… die?
I went back to Kou’s cell, but I couldn’t speak at first. I swallowed several times and passed on Kisa’s message in a soft, almost unintelligible murmur.
He smiled weakly. “…I wish that too,” he whispered. “With all of my bleeding heart…” He was trembling as he fought the urge to cry. I took my leave, knowing that if I saw his tears, I would be unable to stop my own.

I practically flew to my room, many of the people I passed probably thought me mad. I closed the door, collapsing onto the bed.
“H-Holy One?” Tsukaëme asked in surprise.
“…please leave me alone.” I said in a muffled voice through the mattress.
“But… What’s wrong…?”
“Leave!” No one could see me cry. No one.
I heard her hesitate, but I heard her footsteps walk to the door and the hinges creak once as the door opened. She had stopped again.
I lifted my head up off the mattress. “If you don’t leave, I’ll have you expelled from this Shrine!” I yelled, hearing my voice crack from the strain of speaking around the ever-growing lump in my throat.
She yelped, and I heard the door slam shut again.
My face fell into the mattress again, finally allowing the sobs to rake through my body.
There was nothing I could do…
They were both going to die…
And there was nothing I could do to save them…

I fell asleep in tears.