1 - Holy One
“Um… Holy One? Would you like me to ready a bath for you…?” Her voice was trembling; she was afraid of me.
I placed my book down, smiled that fake smile I used to be so good at and nodded.
“Oh! M-my name is Tsukaëme… Y-you can call me Ts-Tsuka, if you w-want… Oh! I-I’ll go get that bath ready!” And, that said, she was gone.
I sighed, getting up off the bed and looking out the window. Everyone here thought I was strange because I hardly spoke. In fact, I’m sure many of them thought me mute. But I could, and can, speak very well. I simply chose not to at that time. I preferred to open my ears rather than my mouth, to listen to the voices around me rather than to my own.
“Good job, Tsuka,” I heard one of the other maids say outside my door. “The Wordless One is pretty hard to talk to when you’re not used to him.”
I tred closer to the door, not meaning to eavesdrop, but, at the same time, unable to resist.
“Him?” Tsukaëme repeated in a confused tone.
I was used to that. I found my reflection in the mirror. My face was smooth, my lashes were thick and my stature was slight. It was all too often I was mistaken for a woman.
“You didn’t know? The Wordless is a man, Tsuka!”
“H-how was I supposed to know?!” Tsukaëme blustered in return. “He never speaks and those thick robes make it impossible to tell…”
The other woman laughed. “Try listening next time you’re assigned to wait on someone, you silly goose.”
“Hmph… I have to go prepare his bath now,” she said stiffly, and I listened to her swift steps echo down the hallway.
I sat once again on my bed, listening now to the birds sitting in the trees outside my window. It was mid-morning, so all of them were awake and singing. It was lovely to listen to.
I stood once more, wondering to myself why I was so fidgety today, and cracked open the window, looking out at the sea of trees. It was so peaceful… The green leaves swaying gently on the wind… The soft hum of voices as the young Holies played in the garden below. I spotted a little boy, a mop of pale violet hair only a few shades lighter than my own…

“U-um, Holy One?” Tsukaëme’s voice snapped me back to my room and the interior of the Shrine.
I turned to her.
“Y-your bath is ready, sir…” She was looking down, grasping her trembling hands.
I smiled that fake smile and bowed, gesturing for her to lead the way.

The hair felt good out of its bun, falling down my back. The hair loops next to my face were loosed also, all of my long hair finally free since what felt like a long time.
“H-holy One? Are you r-ready?”
I lowered myself into the steaming bath, a sigh of contentment falling from my lips. “Yes,” I said softly.
She yelped, and I saw the soap slide across the floor on the other side of the screen separating us. “Y-you can talk!” she blurted out, then yelped again and covered her mouth out of guilt.
I couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “I can.”
“B-but… everyone…”
“I choose to not talk often. Is that so strange?” I wasn’t sure why I wanted to talk to her so much, but something about her large green eyes and short brown hair was endearing to me, like a sister. In a way, I think I wanted to confide in her. I wanted someone to understand me.
“I suppose not…” she answered, picking the soap up. She was watching me out of the corner of her eye, like she was suspicious of me. “Why are you talking to me though, if you choose not to?”
I smiled, a real one this time. She really did have a quality of a good listener somehow. “I felt that you would like to listen is all.”
She knelt down by the tub, pouring a bowl of water over my head. “Is that really all?” She seemed more comfortable now, and began to lather up the troublesomely long hair that I possessed. “This may be an odd question, but… What’s your name, Holy One?”
I had expected the question. That was rather a mystery around the shrine. Many maids had “secret” plans on how best to find out the elusive “Wordless One’s” name. Well, might as well take advantage of that excitement…
“I’ll tell you only if you promise to not tell anyone else.”
Predictably, she blushed and her eyes sparkled with the thought of knowing something no one else did. “Not a soul,” she whispered breathlessly.
“Anlui,” I whispered back, leaning into her ear as if I were imparting the secrets of the universe.
Tsukaeme blinked, as if it was anticlimactic. It probably was. “…oh,” she said.
I nodded, which reminded her that she was supposed to be washing my hair. She feverishly started to lather it once again.

After my hair was finally clean, Tsukaëme went back behind the screen so I could wash my body. My skin was so white that it made the porcelain tub look dark. I sunk into the water, somewhat embarrassed despite the fact that no one could see me.
“Are you alright, Holy One?” Tsukaëme’s voice asked from the other side of the panel.
“Yes,” I answered, and sighed. “I’m fine.”

After I was bathed and dressed, Tsukaëme helped me brush out and style my hair. I hated the feeling of it being pulled back into that heavy bun at the back of my head and I hated the hair brushing the sides of my face as it was looped over itself and bound near my temples.
She smiled as she finished. “Is that okay, Holy One?”
I nodded, meeting her smile of accomplishment with one that was merely a shadow.
“I’ll go clean your room now, then. Take care.” And she was gone.
I stared into the mirror, green meeting green on the left and silver meeting silver on the right. I closed my left eye, the silver glow disappearing behind my pale skin.
If it wasn’t for that eye marking me as a Holy, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be sitting in this chair, staring into this mirror. I wouldn’t be waited upon hand and foot. I wouldn’t be a prisoner to this Shrine. I would be a normal person.
To those of you who think you would like to be waited upon so thoroughly, think of this: I could not even bathe without someone there. I could not sleep without someone outside my door. I could not venture beyond the Shrine without an escort.
Would you trade your freedom and privacy for something as petty as being waited upon?
…
I didn’t think so.

* * *

I walked down the hall, nodding my head to people as they passed. The other Holy returned the gesture, while some of the maids blushed and skittered away with a whispered, “Hello, Holy One,” and while the others simply pretended to not have seen me, I noticed the Captain of the Holy Guard of the Wood bow deeply to me as I passed. How strange, I thought. Wasn’t she supposed to be on a scouting mission for another three days?
As I reached the empty chapel, I grumbled and shook the heavy fabric covering my legs. A female Holy had a long slit up one side of the lower robes to free up her movement, but, for some reason, the male robes did not. I could hardly make use of my long stride if I was constantly fettered by this unnecessary, irritating dress. Because, call them robes all you want, in reality it was nothing more than a many-layered dress.
I made a face to myself and, throwing a quick glance around to the door to make sure no one was coming in, I gathered the robes up to my thighs and jogged up to the altar.
I let them fall back down and knelt before the great tree that grew from floor to ceiling, its leafy boughs arching around the domed roof. Forgive me, Great Ones. I simply needed a bit of brief freedom from this dress. And yes, it is a dress. Could you not do something about this? …No. That’s selfish, I suppose. I’m the only one griping about stupid things like that, aren’t I? I’m sure the other Holies’ prayers are much more selfless; hoping for liberation of the world or such things… I paused, not really expecting an answer, but hoping for one anyway. Then, I continued through the echoing silence. …I see you still don’t wish to speak to me. Well, I understand. I doubt anyone wants to speak to me anymore. Tsukaëme flashed into my head for a moment. Well, okay. One person wants to talk to me. …Just the one. Oh well, it won’t kill me to have a friend around here, right? I’ll just be going now then. Have a good day doing… what Gods do, Great Ones.
I stood up. I was fully aware my “prayers” were rather… irreverent. But, at this point in my life, I honestly didn’t care.

My job as a Holy finished, I decided to ask the Captain why she was here so soon. It took a bit of searching, but I found her in the corridor on which all Holies’ rooms were found.
“Captain,” I said, touching her on the arm to get her attention. She turned and looked at me, her cropped red hair falling messily over her forehead.
“Ah, Holy One,” she said, her thin lips pulling back from her teeth in what I assumed was supposed to be a smile, but ended up looking like a snarl. “How may I help you?”
“May I ask why you returned so quickly from your mission?” You’re probably wondering why I was talking so much, but the fact of the matter is, I don’t mind talking if I need to know something or feel the need to voice an opinion. I just dislike talking just for the sake of talking.
She grinned, putting her muscled arms behind her head in a cocky manner. “We captured a couple of Fallen heathens, Holy One,” she explained, proud of herself. “I was just seeing if anyone was willing to speak to them; to lead them back to the proper path.”
I paused for a moment. “…I would not mind doing this task,” I said quietly.
“Truly? Excellent! They’re being held downstairs in the storage rooms.”
I nodded and walked toward the staircase, pulling up the annoying robes as I descended. Why did I offer to do this? I asked myself.

But the truth is…

I already knew the answer.